How To Chat with Women Online
January 6, 2008
I’m going to do something in this post that I almost NEVER do…I’m going to share with you part of a real-life conversation that I had with a woman online inthe past. Again, this is something that I VERY rarely do…(so feel special and loved!).
It’s a small part of a bigger conversation, so keep that in mind as you read it. This little chunk of conversation is a great example of how to tease, be Cocky & Funny, and generally give a woman a hard time…and it shows how this particular girl was responding.
Read it, and then I’ll comment on it…
HER: you remind me of the boy on the playground who pulls the girls pigtails
ME: The one you always liked?
HER: i dont like too many boys
ME: Yea, but you liked that one
HER: and especially mean ones
ME: And you LOVE me
HER: nah they never pulled my pigtails
HER: i scare boys
ME: That’s because you always dressed like a boy
ME: And they mistook you for one
HER: nah its because im smarter than them
ME: Hm
ME: Maybe that’s why I’m so intimidated by you
ME: And scared to pull your pigtails
HER: oh yeah you’re intimidated alright
HER: NOT
HER: the only reason im talking to you is because youre not afraid of me
ME: Oh, but I am
HER: the ones that live in fear of me bore me
ME: I’m scared
HER: you suck at lying
ME: Shaking, really
HER: oh geez
HER: dont every go into acting
ME: Don’t every go into spelling
NOTE: This is the EXACT text from the ACTUAL conversation. No modifications were made at all
to the text. Only the names have been modified to hide identities.
OK, so who was this girl?
She was an actress and model, and a high-achiever as well. She was beautiful, intelligent, and SHARP AS A TACK.
In other words, I wasn’t dealing with an average girl here. I was talking to a woman who was IN DEMAND, AND SHE KNEW IT. (Most women know at some level that they’re in demand, by the way. This one just happened to be particularly sassy.)
How would an average guy who was online chatting with random people have handled this? Probably like so:
HER: you remind me of the boy on the playground who pulls the girls pigtails
AVERAGE GUY: Why’s that?
HER: i dont like too many boys
AVERAGE GUY: Why not? What kind of guy do you like?
HER: and especially mean ones
AVERAGE GUY: I’m not a mean guy
HER: boys never pulled my pigtails
HER: i scare boys
AVERAGE GUY: Wow, you must be beautiful
HER: nah its because im smarter than them
AVERAGE GUY: I love smart women. …blah blah blah.
SEE THE DIFFERENCE?
Let’s talk about a few of the things that happened in the original conversation.
It started out with her telling me that I remind her of the boy on the playground that pulls the girls pigtails.
Now, what does THAT mean?
IT MEANS SHE’S GETTING A LITTLE ANNOYED…BUT AT THE SAME TIME HAVING FUN.
It means that she’s PLAYING with me.
Of course, in the conversation that took place before this segment, I was teasing her, busting on her, telling her that her modeling pictures were ugly and dorky, and everything else.
When she told me that I reminded her of the boy who pulls girls’ pigtails, I said “YES!” to myself, because I knew she was REALLY enjoying it.
My answer, “The one you always liked” took her somewhat ball-busting comment and turned it around on her. Then, when she tried to deny it by saying “I don’t like too many boys” I just pressed on with “Yea, but you liked that one”. Then she said “and especially mean ones” and I said “And you LOVE me”.
Bingo!
She was at a dead end here, and she knew it. I had her number, and she couldn’t deny it. So she took a slightly different direction with “I scare boys”.
Now, most guys would have been stumped with a comment like this. Her comments weren’t having any effect on me, so she tried to puff her chest a bit and say “I scare boys”.
I came right back with “That’s because you always dressed like a boy… and they mistook you for one”.
HA! I love it when I crack myself up.
Of course, she kept trying to sound superior,and said “Nah, it’s because I’m smarter than them”.
OK, now notice what I did after that comment…
I said “Hmm… Maybe that’s why I’m so intimidated by you… and scared to pull your pigtails”.
What am I doing here?
I’m being SO cocky and sarcastic that I’m actually making fun of the fact that she’s ANYTHING but intimidating to me. The fact is that I’ve been “verbally” pulling her pigtails the whole time, and she knows it!
So she answers “Yea, you’re intimidated alright…NOT”.
Now, I want to point out a KEY phrase that this girl said to me. She said:
“…the only reason im talking to you is because youre not afraid of me…”
Whoa.
Isn’t THAT interesting?
What do you think that might mean?
Could it mean that she IMMEDIATELY dismisses men who ARE intimidated by her?
Could it mean that this is one of the FIRST things she wants to know when she starts talking to a man?
Could it mean that she has all kinds of TESTS that she uses early on… tests that most men NEVER EVEN REALIZE ARE TESTS… that she uses to determine whether or not a guy is intimidated by her?
Could it mean that this is happening all the time to guys all over the world, and they don’t even know it?
Could it mean that most guys will try to act nice and accommodating… and kiss ass… and act like they want a woman to approve of them… only to have itbackfire and drive the woman away?
Could it mean that she’s showing me HER “hand” and subtly telling me that I’m winning her over?
I realize that I’m taking this to an extreme here, but guess what?
THE ANSWERS ARE:
YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, AND YES!
If I would have responded to her like a dumb-ass
Wussy (as in the fake example above) she would have
hit the road faster than Steve McQueen!
And at the end, I continued to play the sarcasm and act afraid of her… until the very end, where one of my personal FAVORITES happened: She misspelled a word!
She said “don’t every go into acting” (she meant “don’t EVER go into acting”).
I shot back “Don’t every go into spelling”.
A beautiful moment…perfect.
So there you have it. An example of me being Cocky & Funny with a real girl, in a real conversation…unedited.
What’s the lesson? Well, it’s a few things:
1) Don’t act like a Wussy when you’re around women and ESPECIALLY when you’re around extremely attractive, high profile women. They hate it, and they run. By the way, if you need a serious “Wuss-Ectomy”, and you want to evict your Inner Wussy for good, then go and read THIS:
2) You must demonstrate a few key beliefs and abilities to women when you first start talking to
them. One of those is that you don’t fear women (her), and another is that you can be comfortable around them (her).
3) There is a MORE SUBTLE game being played out when you first start interacting with a woman. She’s going to make literally DOZENS of decisions about you based on NOTHING other than the way you COMMUNICATE and appear to her.
If you screw it up, it’s over.
Attraction isn’t a CHOICE. And if she doesn’t feel it for you after she makes her initial
impression of you, then you’re probably not going to get another chance. And her ATTRACTION is going to be based on all kinds of things that are NOT AT ALL obvious to most men.



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